When you think of blending two families, we often think of the Brady Bunch. Even in a television show, blending two families was not an easy task, but the problems experienced by the Brady’s were often very minor. The parents could talk to the children and usually handle any situation between the differences that occurred. However, you must remember, this is not real life and some of the problems if not meet at the beginning can turn into chaos in a very short time. Blending families cannot just be a snap of the fingers and the family will live harmoniously from this day forward. However, you do not have to give up on the love of your life just because you both have children. Contacting a Rogers family counselor or child therapist before saying I do, maybe the best solution for a happy family.
Too many times, according to the age of the children, they can feel rejected, feel like their parent is more lenient on their new siblings, that their parent loves the new parent more than them and so on and so forth.
Even in a family that is not blended, brothers and sisters are going to fight. However, when you are trying to blend two completely different families, there may be even more fights. No two families are raising their children in the same manner. Rules change and so do so many other things in the home.
Changes in the Home
Not only have the children lost one of their parents, but now they have a new parent and new siblings. Just sharing their parent with another adult can be enough stress but when you throw in new kids, it can be very upsetting and difficult for the children.
Not only are they sharing their parent with another adult and new kids, but they are either moving to another resident or sharing their home with these new people. Often the children must share bedrooms with the new children which of course is placing the new children in the others comfort zone and personal space.
Even enjoying a meal together, may not be as easy as you think. The new kids may not like the food prepared or the kids may believe that the food prepared is to please the new kids as it is different from the food prepared beforehand.
Help Before and After Blending
In the majority of cases, before saying “I do” and moving both families into the same house it may be a good idea to talk with an experienced family counselor.
A professional therapist can help the family even before they become one family help resolve any issues that might be apparent such as sharing space with new family members. By understanding the feelings and emotions of each member of the family, it will be easier for every member to know what is expected and learn to communicate their feelings long before huge issues arise. Getting communication flowing beforehand can save families from huge differences. Even parents can have issues that need to be addressed. One parent may have been very lenient while the other one could have been very strict on the rules.
Once the family is living as one, a therapist can still be a wonderful asset as they can aid as issues arise such as no privacy, sharing bathrooms, feeling ignored and so on and so forth.
Having the help of a therapist to help guide the families into becoming one is the best solution, however, do not expect a Brady Bunch type of family.